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Four years ago I had just quit what I thought was the job of my dreams. I had struggled during my transition from college to career and I felt like I had little support or purpose. From January to March I struggled to come out of a dark place that I had never been in before. However, on March 2nd, 2012 a series of tornadoes swept through Kentucky, leaving many nearby cities and towns devastated.
Wanting to feel like I could help I naively posted an event on Facebook asking for donations, at that time I meant this event for people from my county to participate, but I didn’t say that specifically. Before I knew it nearly 2,000 people from all over the country had signed up to donate. I spent the next couple of weeks working to organize donations and loads of supplies going into four towns. My unemployment had ended up being a blessing, I had time and energy to give to this and I gave it everything I could. On the Sunday morning after making our final deliveries I went to church and sat in a service, something I had not done in a long time.
While sitting there in the service I reflected on everything and I prayed. I had been living without a purpose for so long, but suddenly my purpose became clear – I was meant to give as much love as I could to the world around me. Suddenly all of the loneliness in my life made sense. I had too much love to give and I had been trying to make it smaller, but I needed to heal myself first.
After four years I have found myself in a really good place. I have traveled and had new experiences, I have stumbled and rebuilt myself, and I have done everything knowing that I’m meant to give love to the world around me. When I moved back home this summer I knew that something big was building, but I wasn’t sure exactly what yet.
This year as I decorated the Christmas tree alone in my house I took the time to reflect again and again I found an answer. I’m lucky to have a great job, a safe home, and space in my heart to share with others – it was time to give as much love as I could. That night I made the call to become a foster parent.
For years I have lived at this crossroads of Christianity and social justice. I have watched the two worlds separate and be fearful of the other, while I have loved them and questioned them both. Christianity is not meant as a vehicle for riches and a struggle free life. Social justice is not meant to exist outside of the realm of the faithful. Sure becoming a single foster parent is scary and full of self questioning, but if I were to ask myself what are the values that the worlds of my faith and social justice have taught me, it is that we are supposed to place ourselves on the line to advance the hope of a more just future.
It is difficult to talk about this decision without fearing how self-righteous it may sound, but there’s a lot of hurt in our world and not enough talk about letting love heal what it can. Foster care felt like the perfect fit for me because I like the idea of providing a warm, safe and protective environment to someone who needs it, but I also like the idea of systemically giving someone a second chance to become a better parent. While I hope to adopt, I also hope to keep an open heart to see when a birth parent is working to better themselves.
This is a decision that I don’t take lightly and something that I don’t think is for everyone, but I do think everyone can start asking themselves how much love they have to give and are they giving it to the spaces it is needed most?